In a stunning revelation that has shaken the very foundation of office kitchens everywhere, a recent survey by Kickresume revealed that 85% of employees have been victimized by an annoying coworker.

But the real juicy tidbit?

A whopping 27% of these cases involve lunch theft. That's right, —your lovingly prepared quinoa salad with artisanal dressing might be in the crosshairs of your colleague's sticky fingers.

But what's behind this sudden rise in office food felonies?

Look no further than the surging prices of fast food, spurred on by California's new $20 minimum wage for fast food workers. As the cost of a simple burger and fries approaches the GDP of a small nation, desperate employees are turning to more, shall we say, "cost-effective" solutions.

Imagine the scene: Bob from accounting, usually the picture of professionalism, sneaking around the breakroom like a calorie-conscious ninja, eyes darting for that leftover sushi box he spotted earlier. Who knew that rising wages would create a new breed of stealthy lunch bandits?

Now, let's be clear: I applaud fair wages. But when your tuna sandwich becomes the victim of economic policies, it might be time to start labeling your lunch with “Biohazard” stickers. Maybe then, your coworker will think twice before committing a food felony.

So, the next time you find your yogurt mysteriously missing, don’t immediately suspect Debbie from HR. Blame the economic landscape, rising fast food prices, and the irresistible allure of a free meal. Or better yet, start a new trend: office potluck. That way, Bob can satisfy his cravings without resorting to grand larceny, and you can finally eat in peace.

Now.. all kidding aside, California's proposed increase is the pure definition of 'stupidity'.

Why?

The state meddling in the affairs of the free market is predictably tragic. The notion of raising wages by government decree, as detailed in the NY Post article (NYPost 07.18.24) about California's fast food minimum wage, is not merely a bad idea; it is an affront to the very principles of a free society and the sanctity of individual achievement.

Let's consider the consequences. By imposing an artificial increase in wages, the state disrupts the natural equilibrium of the market. Employers, burdened with higher labor costs, will be compelled to make difficult choices. They may reduce their workforce, cut hours, or raise prices—all of which stifle productivity and innovation.

The end result?

Businesses struggle, and the very employees this policy aims to protect find themselves jobless or with reduced hours, effectively worse off than before.

Now, this wage increase will lead to inflationary pressures. As businesses raise prices to cover the increased cost of labor, the purchasing power of consumers diminishes. The cost of living rises, negating any benefits of the wage hike. It's a vicious cycle, and one that the state, in its hubris, fails to anticipate or acknowledge.

By mandating higher wages, the state sends a message that success and achievement must be penalized. It punishes the productive, the innovators, the job creators—those who dare to excel. It disincentivizes hard work and entrepreneurship, fostering a culture of dependency rather than one of self-reliance and personal responsibility.

This is the path to mediocrity and stagnation. When the state interferes with the free market, it undermines the foundations of a capitalist society. It erodes individual liberty and the right to pursue one's own happiness. The calamities that follow are not merely economic; they are a profound moral decay.

Raising wages by government fiat is a misguided attempt at social engineering. It disrupts the market, harms businesses and workers alike, fuels inflation, and saps the moral vitality of a society that should be based on merit and voluntary exchange.

The state must step back and allow the free market to function, for it is only through the unhampered actions of individuals pursuing their own rational self-interest that true prosperity and human flourishing can be achieved.

Remember, you won't profit unless you implement,

Vance "will never live in California" Morris

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